I love lists!

well as promised somewhere in the middle of "101 things that make me happy", I have decided to make a list of songs I love. But Ive decided to start not with just all of my favorite songs in general (although this list may convert to that in the future) at this point I am going to make it a list of songs that make me happy. these are the songs that I want to blast in the car with the windows down, that make me want to get up and dance and that make me feel like running down a beautiful grassy, sunny hill wearing something yellow, or fly in a bright blue sky with puffy white clouds. (that is seriously what I picture when I try to turn the feeling of happiness into an image...lol, yes, now you know the inner workings of Ashley's brain) so yeah, thats what this list is going to be for now.

I also decided to start a bucket list. I was totally thinking about doing this the other day, then visited ryans blog and saw that he did this and was like YES so awesome, now I HAVE to do this! so we'll see how that goes. although I am a little afraid to start a bucket list because if my life goes in a totally different direction from where I want it to go now, having all of my dreams and aspirations written on one list might make me feel totally disappointed with myself later...so who knows, I'll start it now and maybe end up deleting it later, or maybe it will be good motivation!

Eating Healthy

So I have recently decided that I wanted to eat healthier foods. before this decision my diet consisted of cereal for breakfast, a granola bar/trail mix/chips/other type of snack food for lunch, plus any junk food I may or may not decide to buy from the senior den that day (its dangerous having candy bars in a class you sit in for 2 hours available for a dollar) some more snacking when I got home, then whatever we were making for dinner. I mean I eat pretty healthy. I don't drink soda, not 2 much junk food thats SUPER bad for me but I wasn't necessarily eating super healthy either. now I'm not planning on turning into a crazy person who just eats organic vegetables and wheat grass and I don't know what else. but I am going to try to cut unnecessary preservatives, colorings and other chemicals out of my diet. basically I'm going to try to eat less processed foods, because if you think about it too hard, its actually pretty gross. so yes, my new resolution is to eat less prepackaged, processed type food, and replace it with fruits, veggies, or stuff I make myself...we'll see how long this lasts. wish me luck!

update on my happy list and the blog

9 followers woohoo!! thats practically double digits! but anyway hello there readers! I just wanted to say don't be afraid to comment on stuff. I know that when I read blogs I feel weird commenting on stuff, but dont! comment away. I have also just reached 100 things on my happy list which you will find in my list of pages on the right hand side of the blog. It was surprisingly easy to think up 100 things, so I'm just gonna keep going and see how far I get!

Jane Eyre!

I have become slightly obsessed with Jane Eyre. It all started when Ms. Powell my English teacher showed part of the 2006 movie version. I eventually ended up watching that whole BBC miniseries version as well as a BBC mini series from the 80s and began reading the book. Its just so good!! I love the story and I love Mr. Rochester! So because we were both freaking out about it so much, my friend Erin and I decided to take a trip to Sacramento to see another Jane Eyre movie that just came out. It didn't play in very many theaters so Sacramento was the closest we could find. The trip there and back was pretty fun, full of music, laughter, and fast talking about Jane Eyre (by the way, if I am totally comfortable belting out songs from musicals in the car with you, its a sign that we are good friends). The movie itself however, wasn't too great. there were some good parts, but i thought they took out too much of the good stuff and put in too much pointless junk. the movie started in the middle then flash-backed to the beginning, and at the end Erin and I just looked at each other like "really? that was IT?". But it was okay because it was a fun trip and that night I came home and finished reading the book...okay so I skimmed the beginning about her childhood, and totally skipped the part between when she left Mr. Rochester and when she came back to him, but no one really cares about those parts anyway ;)

My Wicked Day

Today was pretty much the greatest day ever! Alex and I drove down to Fresno to see Wicked! On the drive down we listened to the Wicked soundtrack on repeat while I totally freaked out:

yes I am aware that this is a very unattractive picture of me, but it does illustrate just how excited I was feeling and how much I was bugging Alex the whole ride to Fresno. And yes, every once in a while it would hit me and I would get all excited again and scream for real.

so we got to the theater in Fresno and parked, but we were still like 45 min early so we walked around the theater a little bit, found the stage door, and I freaked out about seeing some guys that I though were probably cast members. After a little of that we went in to the theater, did a little shopping, took our seats and waited for the show to start. As soon as the lights went down and the ensemble started singing No One Mourns the Wicked, I freaked a little and punched and elbowed Alex a few times. The cast did an amazing job, this stage was a lot smaller than the theater in San Fran, so a few things about the set were different. But it was all done amazingly. the woman playing Elphaba was actually the standby which I thought was awesome. Everything about the show was just indescribable and I've got to admit my eyes started watering during the majority of the songs.

Ok, so I know that I'm totally geeking out here, but I seriously do love this show. I love the characters, the songs, the plot, how it twisted a story you thought you knew, I love the themes and the whole message, the sets and costumes, and really everything about it. so yeah...thats why Im so hyped up about it.

After the show Alex and I went to the stage door to see all of the actors and stuff. There were surprisingly very  few people there, and I was totally scared to talk to any of them and ask me to sign my playbill. But I did end up meeting the actresses who played Elphaba and Glinda! First Natalie Daradich came out (top pic) who played Glinda. She was so sweet and just as bubbly and sparkly in person as she was on stage. We had to wait for a while for Christine Dwyre who played Elphaba to be "degreenified" but she was super sweet as well and on the inside, I totally freaked when I saw her. All I could think was, wow! this is an amazing performer who gets to be Elphaba! I was trying to think of something more profound to say there, but its true. I absolutely adore the character of Elphaba and so I freaked being able to meet someone who is able to embody her on stage. oh, and she also still had a little bit of green makeup on her face, and here finger nails were painted green, like every elphaba actress has to do...and I just thought that was crazy awesome for some reason.

after taking this picture, Alex and I walked back to our car and it seriously took me a few minuets to compose myself, I was just so ecstatic, and I had a stupid grin on my face that wouldn't leave for a few hours because I was so hyped up.

Holy SHIZ (no I wasn't clever enough to make that up myself)

WICKED is in Fresno this week (hence the shiz pun) and I was sad because I didn't even know it was coming until last weekend, and this week was crazy and I thought that there was no way that I would be able to go. And by the time that my mom felt bad about not taking me, the shows were already sold out. But then a family friend told us that they have two extra tickets, so tomorrow, Alex and I are driving to Fresno to see Wicked at 2:00... AAAAHHHH!!

My Happy List

So I just got the idea to post a list of things that make me happy, things I'm thankful for, that sort of thing. but then I got an even better idea, to make a stand alone page with a running list of things that make me happy that I can keep adding to, changing, and coming back to. Some of the things I list will just seem small, and some might seem weird, but they will all be things that bring me joy, happiness, and make me happy to be alive!

aksjghsalkdjghlk!!!!! (thats pretty much how I feel right now)

so the craziest thing just happened to me. A week or so ago when I was freaking out about majoring in theater, I came across a blog called Unnaturally Green, by a woman who was the Elphaba standby in the San Francisco production of Wicked. I loved reading this blog because it had a whole bunch of cool behind the scenes type stuff. But about halfway through reading this blog something very unsettling occurred to me: Broadway shows are every night of the week except for Monday. This means that if I ever did end up with any type of job for which I would need to be there during the actual show, I would be required to work on Sunday.
This was a little unsettling for me because as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints we are taught to keep the sabbath day holy which usually includes not working on Sunday. Needless to say I was pretty upset when I started thinking about this whole situation. Even on the off chance that I WAS good enough, would I EVER be able to get a job on Broadway? I started searching the internet for answers when I came across a Deseret News article about LDS performers on traveling Broadway shows. One of the actresses mentioned was Nikki Bohne, who has the lead role in the traveling tour of Legally Blonde. I went to her website, found her email and decided to ask her my questions, not really thinking I would ever actually hear back from her.
I had actually pretty much forgotten that I had ever sent her an email until this morning, when I got a reply! here is part of what she shared with me:

"Cutting right to the chase. You will have to work on Sunday. There are
enough actresses out there for the job, that at first you won't be
able to say no. Some people who have established themselves in the
business with a certain job may be able to contract Sunday's off, but
I would say that is the exception, not the rule. The advice I would
give would be to decide within yourself what is most important to you
and your specific relationship with heavenly father. Everyone has a
different outlook on the gospel and so it's important to create your
own personal "code of honor." In my personal opinion, the good that I
do outweighs working on the Sabbath. I work really hard to attend
church each week, so I normally do not miss th sacrament, but it is
hard. It is a personal decision you have to make and in this business
it is tough to find the motivation for the small things. But it's
possible! Maintaining a regular plan of scripture reading and prayer
is essential. I listen to conference talks while traveling and study
the Book of Mormon with my family.


But what it comes down to is your own personal decision. Being an
active member of the church in this field is hard...really hard...but
definitely possible! Most importantly, enter your career knowing who
you are and what you stand for. If you are wavering at all, the world
will get to you. But the lord really is on our side and I feel his
spirit every day, even in the show. Wait, especially in the show ;)
performing is such a spiritual experience for me and singing my shoe
every night brings me closer to my father in heaven.

If you are dead set on Sundays, there is hope. After months of
switching shifts to attend church and showing up in a dress with my
food for the whole day in a bag, Disney finally gave me Sundays off!
It took a lot of work and I wouldn't count on that being a regular
occurrence."


this is just a little of what she emailed me, and I honestly just couldn't believe she emailed me back. What she said really made me feel better because at least at this point, I don't have to give up on this dream. I dont know what the future holds, but as of now, this may still be a possibility for me if I work hard

...Well That Was Dissapointing

With most of the anxiety of choosing a major out of the way for me (for now anyway), my biggest fear about college is having to live with a stranger. I only know one girl who is going to be a freshman at BYU in the fall, so I'm just rooming with whoever chooses the same room I do. Or at least that was the original plan, but all of that changed yesterday when I was on the facebook page for incoming BYU freshmen.
As I was scanning the page I saw a post from a girl asking if anyone needed a roommate. I looked at her profile and she seemed like not just a normal human being, but actually really nice (at this point all I was hoping for was that I wouldn't have to room with someone weird/mean/psycho) so I sent her a message and we spent two days messaging back and forth getting to know each other a little. I was actually feeling pretty good, because she seemed really nice.
And now the tragic end to this story comes along....to make a long story short she ended up sending me a message that she had a friend who wasn't going to go to BYU but just decided to go to BYU and wanted to room with her so that is what she is going to do.


...so now I'm back to square one. I'm a little disappointed because she seems really nice and now I have to be all scared and worried about who my roommate is going to be again. But I'm alright. Im hoping there is going to be some reason for me rooming with whoever I end up with. who knows, maybe I'll end up rooming with someone who will introduce me to my future husband or something someday.haha... but whatever happens, it will sure be interesting.

Dont really know how to say all of this....

Its been a confusing couple of weeks because I have been trying to figure out what to do with my life and what to major in. If I am going to be 100% honest with my one viewer and the whole rest of the internet, then I'll just say it... I love acting and if I could have any job in the whole world then I would get a part on Broadway (no Hollywood for me). Now if  I'm going to be 100% honest with myself as well as my one viewer and the rest of the internet, I know that there is a tiny chance that this will ever actually happen. There are so many talented people in this world that love theater too.
To be honest its really hard to come to grips with the fact that what you want to do isn't exactly practical. And then the even tougher decisions start...Do I still go for it knowing that it may never happen? that would be a hard road to choose. Or do I just forget it and go with something more practical? this may be easier, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself. So here is the plan:
I am going to go to BYU as a theater major. This major isn't really acting too much, it seems to be more about theater production. I will be able to learn about things like lighting, costumes, and sets. These are skills that are a little bit more marketable and are things that I am still really interested in. As part of this major you get to choose your elective type casses from a whole array of theater classes, so according to my BYU  counselor, I should still be able to take acting classes and improve those skills
so I'm feeling pretty good about that plan because I can still have the opportunity to become a better actor and singer, but I have the back up skills to get other jobs in the theater business...other jobs that I really wouldn't mind having at all.


So there it is, all my worries and confusion about the rest of my life. For all I know I may get to college and decide this is not what I want to do at all, or maybe I'll want it even more than I do know. But no matter what happens, I'm feeling pretty good about my decision and excited to see where it takes me